Second Page.

Here is the second page. I am sorry for pestering you. After this one I will leave ya alone for a bit, I promise.


Thx again, same rules apply.



Removed.

thx for all the help.

Revised first page

See if this flows better. Let me know if you would turn the page. If you wouldn't turn the page was it better than the first draft of page one? Thx again. and if you see any spots that could be better please let me know.

(small tweeks after posting)





Removed, thx for all the help...

The First Page Of My Book...

I would like you to read my first page, plz tear it apart. Let me know what you think, is it good or bad? and plz don't spare my feelings.


I know the grammar needs help, I am still learning that part. My wife takes care of that edit for me. But to get an idea of my first page by other people; will help me decide what works with other pages that I am going to write.

If you don't mind plz answer these questions after any comment you want to leave besides these.

1: did the start intrigue you, or was it confusing?

2: did reading the first page make you want to read the second one?

3: did it read easy or did it seem choppy?

4: plz rate it 1 - 10 10 being the highest. (remember my feeling can't be hurt)
Thx for your time and support. This will help more than you know. Well here it is.



Removed, sorry...

Thx for your time.

What to do?

I am starting to sound like a broken record. I am going to continue with this topic even if you read this and shake your head at my repetition. In truth is has one big change to the past related topic, on re-writes… well to me it does, we shall see what you think.


Let’s get the party started.

I spent 2 hours writing the other night, and a light bulb went on in my head. The perfect start and progression of my book flashed before my eyes… I tried to ignore the epiphany and continue with my book because I was so close to completing my first draft.

No matter how hard I tried to ignore this insight to my story, commenter’s voices went through my head, telling me always do what’s right for the story, anything that make the story better you must do. Do your best and take pride in what you do, never cheat your book by being lazy…

So I have decided to do a complete rewrite of my book, starting at ground zero. The plot change and flow of the story will change so drastically from the change, it has to be rewritten. I might be able to use some of my previous book, maybe two chapters. It is very depressing to realize a years’ worth of wok just went down the drain. But I feel this change is vital to the viability of the story, it increases tense, flow, connection to characters, and produces an awesome climax on several different levels.

This was more of a sounding board for me, thx for reading…

If you have you ever experienced this before, answer me this. Was it worth it? And were you able to keep up the motivation to do such a drastic rewrite… Thx for your time any comment you might leave.

BTW: here is the link to the Novel word tracker, the one in the top left corner.

Raise Your Hand if You're Sure...

Last night I lay there thinking and a huge wave of uncertainty engulfed my spirit. I suddenly felt like I was wasting my time trying to write a book. No matter how hard I tried to tell myself it is a work in progress and if it takes me 4 years to lean grammar and the proper writing techniques I need to be a complete writer, then I am Ok with that...


It has taken all day to ride myself of this feeling, it was quite disheartening. What finally brought me back to the world of reality, was one thought.

It really does not matter… that’s right it really does not matter.

If all I accomplish is writing an ok book I can give to friends and family then that is better than not trying at all. If all I accomplish is 400 pages I get to throw in the trash then so be it. I resided myself to know that no matter what happens I am growing, learning, understanding and expanding my intellect and understand of the English word by my actions… What’s wrong with that? Nothing…

I hope if anyone reads this, you take one thing from it… and that would be this.

You are the only one that can give up, you are the only one that can refuse to learn, you are the only one that can finish what you’ve started, you can only strive to be better than you were, you can only keep your head up and have faith in what you’re capable of. You, you, you, you, if you won’t do it, who will. If you give up you’re the only one to blame.

I have been down this road before, and probably will again. If I have learned anything about writing it’s that self-doubt waits to bring you down…

Nothing will ever stop me from believing in myself. I hope you feel the same about yourself, because no one can make you feel that way… except YOU.

Best of luck and thx for your support, I appreciate any comment you might leave…

Special thx goes out to: Steph, Shakespeare , and Carrie Sund… you three pick me up and carry me through the dark. It might sound cheesy but it is true. Your constant support is invaluable. thx

Revision...

How long do you wait before you begin Revising your work?


I read Stephen Kings book "On Writing" and he suggest… no demands you waiting a bare minimum of 6 weeks. He states your story should feel odd and distant, like the work from a strange twin.

In your writing experience what works best for you?

Waiting sound hard, yet makes sense.

It is really hard to read my writing for what it is. I skip across my work without really reading it, because I already know what it says and is going to say...

Thx for reading any advice will help.

Ups and Downs...

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Man writing has so many ups and downs it drives me crazy.

I can't imagine it ever being easy. It makes you feel so wonderful at times with the rush of the story coming through... then suddenly wham... its fads, leaving you feeling lost and wondering why you even started.

So far the biggest issue is finding time to sit down and write. The main issue with writers block has faded and the story is vivid and bursting. But every time I sit down something always goes wrong.

I wish one day I can get a schedule down to allow myself the right amount of time and hopefully the peace to go with it...

Sorry didn't mean to rant, it just kind of when that direction.



On a side note: do you ever change your story for a person or persons you let read and critic your book. If so answer me this:

What if ones says to change one part but leave a different part that another person said to change and vice versa?

And would you change your story drastically based off of your reader’s comments? Or just change the little thing and have faith your story is good the way you envisioned it. Because I know not everyone you have read your book will like it, or see you eye to eye about it.

This might sound like a hard question to answer, but if you have faced this before it should be one you will know what I am talking about. whether or not you can answer it, well thats another question…

Either way thx for reading.

Plz Give This a Read...

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Here is a page in my book where there is a secret to be had. Now the question I have is should I save the info and let the reader find out when the action takes place? Or fill them in now? I was going to fill them in but now I think it should be something for the reader to think about and find out later. Read this little part and tell me 2 things.


First, did this make you want to know more? And would you hold the specifics to the plan until he actually put it into action? Thx for any input you might leave... if you need more of the story to give an opinion plz ask for it.


Gilroy closed his eyes briefly, exhaling his frustrations and continued. “I understand your anger, believe me, from the moment I heard the news I have been racking my brain to find a solution” Gilroy moved to the edge of his seat, his demeanor changed instantly like a child holding a secret. “And I believe I found one.”

The anger filling Ryan vanished. He wanted to make sure he understood him completely before getting too excited.


“An answer to rescuing the students left on the island?” Ryan involuntarily held his breath.


“Yes”


“It’s impossible. The Emperor’s mandate specifically states no ship to ever set sail for those islands for a hundred years. And if any student ever finds their way off the island and the Emperor ever found them, they would be publicly executed.”


“Ahh but there is a way, and the best part is the emperor will order it to be done.” A cunning smile broke on Gilroy’s face.


“How”

Pulled another all nighter.

I decided to take a break, kind of tired but wanted to post this up and ask if you think this setting works.


Now if it sucks, or is not enough, or too much, please tell me. Don’t worry about my feelings; it is more important to learn what works and what doesn't. In my head I already see this, so it will help to get an idea if you can see what I am seeing. Or even if you like it…

"The mass of students worked their way to the ships, under the rapidly fading light. The sun sat half swallowed by the expanse of the ocean. Scattered clouds absorbed the orange glow and appeared to dance like flames in the purple tinged sky. Long shadows of palm trees stretched across the half sand, half grass landscape. The wind gently blew on his neck sending chills erupting in Goosebumps down his back."



I already talked about the ships and where they were and what they looked like. Also I tried to edit this but I am seeing cross eyed, so plz forgive me if there are a lot of mistakes… I know it is hard to judge with it being right in the middle of a subject, but i didn't want to post the whole page. Maybe i should have, either way do your best.
thx


One other question if you wouldn’t mind answering.

My book is set during the Middle Ages, yet I wonder how I should use the dialoged. Such as what kind of terminology I should use for Time, weights and measurements or how true to the area I should be, as far as language or dialect?

I feel I should use semi modern terminology, or commonly used words to help the reader understand or connect to the book easier. What do you think?

Like using hours and minutes instead of sun dials or scaphe dial.

Or measurement in feet and miles instead of digits, stadion, cubit and Schoinion.

You get the idea.

Thx for your time.

I feel good...

I feel good where I am at in life. Sure it could be better, but it could be a lot worse.



I am 49k words into my goal of 84k word novel. My family is healthy and happy; my children do great in school and excel in playing a musical instrument. My job is steady with no sign of slowing, I have been offered to help grow a new business from ground level; if it takes off I’ll be in great shape financially and finally enjoy make a living at what I do.


I just want you to know life is what you make it... thx to everyone who has helped me and continues to give me valuable advice and for allowing me to vent sometimes when I am down... thx all your help IS not wasted.

Life is a journey, never give up never surrender. Have faith in yourself and believe life is in your control and show love to those around you.


Today is a good day.


plz share your thoughts good or bad. I’ll help anyway I can...


Thx again all.

I need help...

Man I thought I was going to be able to handle my daughter when she got older... or at least handle the day boys came knocking on the door.

Well that day has arrived and I handled it poorly. Let’s just say I made an ass out of myself.


My question to all parents or girls that have lived through it is this: how did you handle your daughters through their boy days and keep her out of trouble and keep her mind focused on school and not boys.

The last thing I want to do is force my daughter into a boys arms by saying she can't talk to him or trying to control everything she does and who she does it with...

I know I raised her right, but all teenage girls I have ever know, judge themselves by the attention they get from boys... and that leads to being manipulated. Every teenage boy learns to use that to his advantage to get what he wants and you know what that is...

I realize I am not ready for this and hope I don't make the wrong decisions. And advice from anyone who has been there, or raised a child through the horrible 4 years of high school will help a great deal.



thx for your time.