Friday, April 29, 2011

Page 57...

Thank you all. The advice from last time paid off BIG TIME!

I really appreciate all the advice you give me. It has helped me see flaws, overcome fears, enhance the feel of my work, and best of all—it made my story stronger.

Give this page a read if you will. It means a lot to get this just right, this scene should make you sit up and take notice.

If you don't want to give an in-depth answer, just say: poor, good, or great... or: I would stop reading, or: I might turn the page, or: I would definitely turn the page.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

Catchy Name


I need a catchy name for the military academy my MC attends. Any ideas will help, so far the best I can come up with is: Brunswick Military Academy.

I want something bold, yet rolls off the tong… any thoughts?

Any comment you might leave will be appreciated... thx for your time.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Revised First Page critique…

Revised First Page critique… thx to all the great points, I feel it has moved in the right direction. I thank each and every one of you for leaving a comment. If you haven’t read the post before this one (First page critic) plz read that one first before leaving a comment, and tell me if you agree, that this version is better and follows the subject or focus the reader attention better.

98,000 words

Valley of Swords

REMOVED... THX again to all those poeple that left a comment.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

First page critic

I just sent my first page (250 words) to a few blogs for a critic; I figured I should offer my revised first page up here as well… so if you want, read it and tell me what you think. Thx for your time and effort, all advice is welcome.

98,000 words

Valley of Swords

REMOVED... thx for all the advice.

Monday, April 4, 2011


My answers are in ( )

What spurs you onward—as a writer—to keep going despite the odds of ever making it? (Besides the common answer—I’m a writer I have to write—I think I’ll go deeper. I write to inspire my kids, and impress my wife, if I can write a book she loves then it’s all worth it.)

If you could give up would you? (I have thought about it, and even tried, but I found out I can’t. and 2 years later, I now know I’ll never quite regardless of the outcome.)

How do you separate yourself from your work? (Still working on this one, so far, I can’t.)

Do you let the weather, stress, family tension or any other outside force affect your writing? (Yes, I do, I often use it to fuel my work… let’s just hope it even out in the end.)

If you could change one negative thing about your writing what would it be? (My use of the English language, more specifically my use of syntax, I struggle to make sentences fit, and flow the way they should in a novel… the way they should flow so the words fad and my world jumps off the page.)

I probably wouldn't be writing if computers and word processors didn’t exist… they are a necessity for me.

Thx for all the wonderful advice, and encouragement… any comment you might leave will not go unread or un-responded to.