Monday, July 19, 2010

Feelings

I am feeling lost every time I try and write... this is a different feeling than the ones I have had before.

Everything feels weak. I tried not to write for a week, and it has hurt rather than helped.

It’s hard to describe, it’s like trying to cook but everything looks horrible and tastes even worse. I've always been able to see the silver lining in what I do, but I just can't seem to get the groove back.


Maybe I am just trying too hard. Maybe I should rest longer than a week.

Or maybe I should do just the opposite and just write my way out.

I have felt lost before and even felt like a hack… but I always got joy from writing even if I felt it didn’t work.

Rest assured I will never quit, but I hope this ends soon.

I really don’t know if I am asking anything specific—more or less I guess I am just sharing, praying for a sign… a glimmer… anything to jump start my brain back to the love of writing regardless of the outcome.

Sorry if you read this all and had to endure it. This is not who I am… maybe that’s why it digs so deep. I have never felt self-doubt about anything (other than about my writing)—now I am swimming in it.

Thx

4 comments:

  1. Self-doubt is a good step, actually.

    The authors who never feel it are so ego-driven they will be eaten alive. But being able to see your own weaknesses is key to gaining strength and skill.

    I totally understand the self-doubt. Do what makes you happy, and know that your disequilibrium will not last, but will likely crop up again. It will help you grow far more than you would if you loved everything you write, without question, and are defensive about criticism.

    That's my two cents, and I offer you all my sympathy, too.

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  2. Jeff--Take a momment and write something completely different. Write a short story out of your normal genre. Do a ya paranormal historical fiction romance or something like that...Find a magazine and write a story or article for it. Sometimes you need to step back and let your story (ms) perculate...

    Best wishes as always!

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  3. Jeff--You won a random daily prize over at my blog...Please email me your address so I can send you your prize. :)

    Thanks for joining in on the random fun.

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  4. I am the mistress of self-doubt. And I'm about to venture into even more, sending out my stuff in the fall so that I can rack up all the rejection letters. Yippee!

    I noticed that your latest blog shows you've made a shift. Good for you!

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